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A Darling Story
I often wonder how
it is to be faced with knowing you will need a liver transplant? To wait by
a phone, with your beeper hugged tightly to your waist, knowing a donor must
die in order for you to live. The fear of the operation, the worry of
rejection, the guilt and compassion for the donors families, and the
emotional pain knowing what your family will soon face.
I only have an inkling of knowledge to how it might be. I have had the
pleasure of corresponding with some of those brave individuals. All of them
have been the most humble, intellectual and courageous humanitarians I have
ever ran across. Dr. Richard Darling is one of those people, let me tell you
a little bit about him.
Dr. Darling is a Dentist who resides in California. While receiving a
blood transfusion in 1972 he contracted HCV. He not only suffers from HCV
but also has undergone three liver transplants. He has been faced with the
challenges of cirrhosis, liver cancer, diabetes, a coma, not to mention a
heart attack. How does a man who has seen so much physical and emotional
pain continue to cope with life? His story is simply a phenomenon, a
miracle, and an incredible journey he is sharing with all of us.
We all are faced with barriers in life, we either climb over them, break
them down or succumb to them. Dr. Darling has embraced them and then used
what he has learned to bring peace and enlightenment to others suffering
with life threating diseases. He has also gone a step further and, with his
national organization, ProrateNIH (www.ProrateNIH.com)
has helped raise awareness of research spending for not only our disease (HCV)
but for the other 15 diseases
that kill more people then AIDS. The challenge he has taken on is huge,
which is to put research funds where they belong, in order of the mortality
rate of each disease. He is our advocate, along with being an advocate for
the other 15 diseases that are receiving grossly under funded NIH research
allocations.
He also has written a book called ComaLife and
I feel his book, his work towards donor awareness, and research
spending is one of the many things about him which I for one most admire.
His work is a very important part of his story. For those who have lost
loved ones to HCV, Dr. Darlings book will give you a calm, and inner piece
you might of never known before. He talks about life in a coma, which I
know; many of us have watched our loved ones succumb to. I see his book as a
gift to anyone who has witnessed those they love sleep, and yes he will tell
you, it was a peaceful sleep. He has dedicated the proceeds from his book to
HCV research at Loma Linda University Medical Center's Transplant Institute
and a smaller portion will go to promoting organ donation (the "Gift of
Life") and the policy of Presumed Consent, which he explains in his
interview. Dr. Darling's book is available at
http://www2.xlibris.com/bookstore/bookdisplay.asp?bookid=15665 or
by calling 888-795-4274 x276....24 hours a day, 7 days a week.
Dr. Darling believes God has kept him here to help others with the
extensive experience he has obtained in his battles to survive. To further
this goal, he founded the Coachella Valley Hepatitis C, Liver Disease and
Transplant Support Group to help, not only those recently diagnosed with HCV
(Dr. Darling has taken interferon also), but also those waiting for
transplant. Loma Linda University Transplant Institute refers their
Coachella Valley patients to Dr. Darling for educational and emotional
support. Dr. Darling's recent involvement in saving the life of one of his
patients can be viewed here:
http://www.proratenih.com/media/news_results.htm
We have met so many people from all walks of life while working in our
forum. I still wonder why I am so fortunate to be apart of all of this.
People like Dr. Darling I see only as a special gift, they come to us ready
to help in anyway they can. Dr. Darling is another one of those
remarkable people who gave us his time, without even giving it a second
thought. He has joined the heroes, and heroines who have done our
interviews. We would all like to thank you for being a part of Janis and
Friends. You are not only an inspirational force, you are a light at the end
of the tunnel, which so many of our friends are faced with before a
transplant, and afraid to enter.
We all hope you are well Dr. Darling, and that
you are responding well to this transplant. Would you say you are feeling
well, and living a good quality of life?
Yes, with my new liver I feel GREAT! As we all know, when living
with liver disease it's impossible to get up at 7AM with tons of energy and
retain it until midnight. A healthy liver stores sugar as Glycogen and
releases it when needed as our "second wind." There is little Glycogen in a
sick liver so patients need naps and are very fatigued. That is normal for
sick patients and eventually after successful treatment for HCV with
Peg+Riba, or with transplant in those with end-stage liver disease, that
energy level will come back to normal.
We have a sweetheart of a woman who is in rejection now, she may be
looking at another transplant. I can only assume after being transplanted
the first two times you knew what was in store for you. Would you say this
made each transplant more difficult?
First let me say transplant Hepatologists are extremely good at stopping
rejection episodes so I feel we should remain optimistic that a retransplant
will not be necessary.
In regards to whether or not each
transplant was more difficult, "Yes and No." Let me explain and educate as
to how to overcome the depression of learning another transplant is
necessary, or indeed, overcoming depression of liver disease from any cause.
When told I needed another transplant only 18 months after coma, heart
attack, chemo, diabetes, cellulitis, atrial fibrillation, myasthenia gravis,
etc., etc., I got quite despondent for the first time ever. After a week my
wonderful wife, Kress, who is the Caregiver of the millennium, brought me a
notebook like we all used in grade school and said, "This is your Grateful
Journal. Write in it every day at least five things you are grateful for. It
can be anything positive since you were a child with your family, whatever,
but no negativities in this journal."
I was skeptical but did it. After about 10 days it had me
focusing on the positive, not the negative, and my entire attitude was
transformed into looking to the future with hope, not despair. I still
make my entries in my Grateful Journal every night as it sits in my lap
while I relax and watch a bit of TV. I've been using it for 2 years and, of
course, I usually enter many things, not just five. It has worked for many
patients in my support group and if you are suffering from liver disease
(or any setback), start keeping a Grateful Journal--it will change your
attitude and erase the anger.
Remember, turn lemons into lemonade:
Instead of "I'm so bummed out that I'm tired or have ascites or
have ammonia building up," you write, "I'm so glad that I'll eventually
feel normal after successful treatment (be it Peg+Riba or transplant)."
Instead of "I'm bummed out that I was a non-responder,"
you write, "I'm grateful that 80% of patients with HCV never get cirrhosis
and only a small percentage of those that do ever need transplant."
Back to the original question of attitude
facing another transplant, I focused on the positives: nothing to fear in
the operating room, no pain immediately after and then whatever discomfort
I would have would be taken care of with Vicodin, etc. Transplant is
something to look forward to when living with end-stage liver disease, not
fear.
While in chat, often we learn a new friend has been informed they
will need to be evaluated for a transplant. Are there any words of wisdom
you can share with our friends, when they begin to process the reality of
what this might all mean?
It is a time in support group when the patient needs hugs and many words
of encouragement. They need to be reassured that they will get a new liver
(most qualified patients do) and that after they get their new liver, their
days of struggling mightily with liver disease will only be a memory. A few
days after surgery their jaundice will be gone because of dramatically lower
bilirubin levels, their swollen legs, etc. will be getting back to normal
size with increased albumin levels, their energy will be coming back quickly
and mental confusion will be clearing out faster than one can ever dream of.
It is not uncommon for a post-transplant patient to be walking around the
nurse's station two days after surgery! Until that time, use the Grateful
Journal. "Grateful for another day of life" "Grateful for my wonderful
caregiver" "Grateful that I will not have to be "tapped" anymore and won't
need lactulose to keep my ammonia levels down."
Is it difficult to be matched with a donor? What is some of the
criteria?
The United Network for Organ Sharing
(UNOS), is a nonprofit, charitable organization that maintains the nation’s
organ transplant waiting list under contract with the government. Separate
private, for-profit entities called Organ Procurement Organizations (OPO)
recover, preserve and distribute organs and tissues for transplant. There
are sixty-one OPOs in the USA.
A hospital (that accepts reimbursement from
Uncle Sam--Medicare, e.g.) with an imminently brain-dead patient who has
agreed to be an organ donor must, by law, contact the local OPO and tell
them they have a patient ready for transplant. The OPO’s skilled procurement
transplant coordinator comes to the donor hospital and evaluates the donor’s
organs. If they are acceptable, the coordinator will approach the donor's
family with the utmost respect and compassion and request approval. Once it
is obtained, the transplant coordinator will request the waiting list for
the respective organ from UNOS and then contact the hospital that has the
patient who is next on the waiting list.
The recipient’s surgeons travel to the
donor and retrieve the organ. They want to evaluate the organ by sight. In
the case of a liver, the requirements are that the organ be of a similar
size and that the blood type be compatible. If the surgeons determine the
liver isn’t acceptable (e.g., incorrect size), the OPO procurement
transplant coordinator will contact the hospital whose patient is next on
the list. In my transplants, the OPO was OneLegacy (formerly SCOPC),
which is headquartered in Los Angeles.
In your book you have talked about one of your donors, and their
family. Could you share with us how it was to meet with your donor’s family?
Meeting my donor, Mark's, parents, Jim & Kathy Antonowitsch, was one of
the best moments of my life. We hugged and kissed and I have continued to
kiss them every time I get together with them. As I describe in detail in my
book, ComaLife, the entire story of our get-together is quite moving and has
numerous incredible facets to it, not the least of which is when I met my
donor's 12-year old son. He hugged me so tight knowing his dad was in me,
then I took him to Disneyland with Jim & Kathy, his grandfather and
grandmother. As I was walking with Christopher, he said to me--with emphasis
on a word in a manner that only a child can--"What part of Daddy do
you have?" I was taken aback and it was a very emotional moment for me. I
barely kept it together and said, "I have
I have his liver under my rib cage. It filters
my blood,
keeps me alive and I'm proud to have it.” At that moment I knew he
was going to say something that would make me cry. It was such a tender
moment. Sure enough, he said, "Cool, let's go on the roller coaster." Whew.
He just wanted to hear the truth and get on with life. Kids, they just want
the truth.
Communicating with your donors with a letter
expressing your deep gratitude is a must. Jim and Kathy have stated that
meeting me has given them great healing from the loss of their only son,
Mark. It is not a requirement that you
meet in person, of course, but the letter, in my strong opinion should be
written as soon as possible.
I know liver cancer is a fear for many of us who
have HCV, cirrhosis, or chronic liver failure. When you were diagnosed with
cancer, did you think what next? I know we are all wondering how you find
the strength to continue your struggle with each medical illness life is
handing you. Have you ever said enough is enough?
First of all, know that of all HCV patients only approximately 20% ever
get cirrhosis and of those that do, only a few percent will get
hepatocellular carcinoma or primary liver cancer (originating in the liver).
So this is not something one should be thinking about at all. If you are,
you are dwelling on the negative and it is time to get out the old Grateful
Journal and focus on the positives in life around you: "I am grateful the
chances of my getting primary liver cancer are very, very small."
This is an interesting question for me. In 1998 the government (UNOS) was
not allowing transplants on patients with liver cancer so I was going to
die. In ComaLife I detail the preparations I orchestrated with my reluctant
wife, Kress, including purchasing my plot in the cemetery, paying for my
funeral in advance and we designed our marker with the inscription "Together
Forever" because we believe in life after death. One must approach life's
difficult times with a sense of humor and positive attitude (grateful for
just one more day of life, for the beautiful desert mountains, etc.). Kress
and I are musicians so I joked that the gentlemen next to me in the
cemetery, Sonny Bono and Frank Sinatra, and Kress and I might have a "jam
session" someday. Then I said, "No, Sonny and I were hippies and Frank had a
lot of class. He probably wouldn't play with us." Kress, in her wonderful
way of adding onto my humor said, "Don't worry, you'll have a long time to
change his mind." We laughed and hugged. UNOS changed the rules and allowed
transplant in some patients with liver cancer when I only had weeks, at
most, to live.
With liver cancer am I correct in saying it usually
starts in another part of your body, and soon moves to your liver? Could you
tell us if they are able to treat your cancer?
If cancer starts in another part of the body and moves to the liver
(metastasizes), one will not be eligible for a liver transplant because
one's prognosis is poor and the liver would be wasted. To be eligible for a
liver transplant when having liver cancer, the cancer must have originated
in the liver, not be in any other part of the body, be in only one lobe of
the liver, be three lesions or fewer and they must be small. There are some
exceptions to this in marginal cases where treatment like I had is effective
in reducing tumor size. For example, transarterial chemotherapy is a
technique I had whereby a catheter (I was awake) is threaded into the
femoral artery in one's thigh up all the way to the liver and then the toxic
chemotherapeutic chemicals are injected into the liver to kill the tumor by
cutting off it's blood supply. It was difficult, but I continued to be
grateful for yet another day.
In addition, some transplant centers are more liberal as to which
patients with liver cancer they will transplant, so if one is turned down at
one center, they should seek a second opinion at a second, larger
institution that performs more transplants.
How do you feel about the newest treatments coming out that are for
HCV, Pegasys was just FDA approved?
I believe every patient with HCV should read the "Bible" on HCV by
Gregory Everson, M.D., from the University of Colorado and Hedy Weinberg
entitled: Hepatitis C, A Survivor's Guide. In it he relates many
things all HCV patients need to learn and study. He also including text on
the success of Peg-Intron + Riba versus Pegasys + Riba as
follows:
Genotype 1 Genotype 2&3
Pegasus + Ribavirin 46% 76%
Peg-Intron + Ribavirin 42% 82%
Pegasus alone 21% 45%
Pegasus is coming out without it's version of Ribavirin because it has
been sued by the manufacturer of Ribavirin for use without proper royalty
recognition or some such legal matter. Roche states better results than
Dr. Everson, but I place more trust in Everson. Bottom line, although the
treatment is successful for some, the large numbers who fail lead me to
call either combo poor treatment in terms of unpleasant symptoms and
ineffective for millions. The answer: reversing the NIH's unfair bias in
favor of AIDS and against the 16 diseases killing more Americans than
AIDS, including liver disease that results in the NIH spending $5,300 on
each patient with AIDS in research versus $22 (yes, twenty-two) on each
HCV patient. This is true even though the NIH's Consensus Development
Conference puts HCV deaths at a high of 12,000 and AIDS deaths are down to
14,000 in 2000 (only 85 in 2002 in California from Jan through Aug 31).
Our organization, ProrateNIH
www.ProrateNIH.com is going to change this someday with
millions of patients from all diseases who are being unfairly treated by
the NIH joining with us to prorate NIH expenditures based on a disease's
mortality rate. If one has a disease that is killing the most Americans,
it should get the most money, and so on. Now the 17th largest killer,
AIDS, gets the most money, which obviously is grossly inflated.
I know many people who have HCV and who are waiting for a donor also
have diabetes. Does diabetes hinder a liver transplant in anyway? Or make
diabetes a more difficult disease to keep under control?
Diabetes usually doesn't hinder a patient from receiving a transplant and
one can be transplanted when taking insulin injections. However, it is
possible that a diabetic has such severe symptoms that a transplant is not
possible. My transplant didn't make my diabetes more difficult to control
and I don't know if anyone whom has had that problem post-transplant. In
fact, if one's diabetes is from his liver disease, it is possible (and not
uncommon) for the diabetic's insulin need to lessen post-transplant or even
be eliminated. It happened with me as I no longer require insulin.
With all that you have been through you also survived a heart attack,
was this related to any of your transplants? Or is this complication from
liver disease?
I'm not sure, but I believe my heart gave out due to my overall poor
health, the stresses of the multiple surgeries and coma. When I received my
second transplant, my surgeon had called my Kress in her hotel room to
notify her I had 24 hours before brain death. Twenty minutes he called back
as she was distraught with his previous news to inform her he had received
a phone call from the OPO and a liver had become available for me. 12 hours
later I received the "Gift of Life."
Do you have any words of hope for the loved ones who have watched
their children, parents, or spouse fall into a coma?
I can honestly say that if they read my book, ComaLife, they will
understand where their loved one was, what he was doing "inside" his coma
and realize that we have no pain (a tiny bit of discomfort only), no
distress, no anger, simply a world of unusual events, places and people that
keep us company. If you have a loved one in a coma, talk to him, touch him
and explain things to him. As I relate, Brijie, my transplant coordinator
came to me and held my hand while she spoke, "Dr. Darling, if you can hear
me squeeze my finger!" She repeated it. I could hear her and see her (a bit
foggy, but I knew it was Brijie), but I couldn't squeeze. Did I get upset?
No. Just calmly realized I was not squeezing and went on with my ComaLife.
Many "realities" came into my coma and I relate them in ComaLife. I
wish those around me had explained things to me a bit more, as you will
read, it would have cleared up some of my confusion as to why things were
going on. Many things were not real, although after I woke up I argued with
Kress that they were real, like my Angel Tabby cat that kept me company the
entire time I was in my coma. She sat on the floor at the foot of my bed in
a doorway and she was the cat in the hospital that stayed with the sickest
person. The day she left, I woke up. We are ok in there, once again, just
touch, talk to and explain things to us.
We know you have a wonderful support group, what is the most
frequently asked question about liver transplants?
Ignorance inspires fear. I teach patients in my support group and, more
importantly, those in the ICU waiting while extremely ill, what to expect
during a transplant and how great they are going to feel after with no
encephalopathy, ascites, lots of new energy, no yellow or gray skin, etc. I
educate them about the operating room in that their first impression will be
that it's very cold in there (and the reason for that is to preserve organ
health), then they lift you onto the operating room table, which is heated
beautifully and very comfortable with a donut pillow, very nice, next
they'll tell you they are going to give you something to relax you. At that
moment you must remember that when you wake up it's best to not fight the
intubation tube, just RELAX, and breath as calmly as possible. You will look
up at the ceiling and say, "My gosh, I've got a new liver." No pain before
surgery, no pain during surgery, no pain after you wake up. With this
knowledge they are prepared and ready to have surgery and get healthy like
they see that I am.
Just the other day someone was saying, "well I don’t have to fill out
my donor card, I have HCV". This is just not the case is it?
Those of us with HCV can be organ donors. When I was in
the ICU my Hepatologist came to me and said,
“If we receive a liver from a donor who has
hepatitis C, will you accept it? If so, you need to sign this form
acknowledging these facts,” he said. Let’s review my options. Option A is
death. Option B is I get a new liver with hepatitis C. I already have
hepatitis C; give me the liver, please!
Could you explain presumed consent to us, and why you feel it is a
long over needed necessity?
We must ask our politicians the following question: “Why don’t we
as a country mandate by law the use of organs from the deceased for organ
donation?” This policy would be called Presumed Consent. People could
still have the option of not having their organs utilized. It would be
presumed that you are willing to donate unless you have a “NOT” card with
you, which stands for “No Organ Transplant.”
Presumed Consent
places the burden on those who are unwilling to help save lives, instead of
on those who are giving the “Gift of Life.” If you don’t want to donate, you
carry the card. Let’s not continue to make those who want to save lives
carry the card. Variations of Presumed Consent are in effect in Spain (with
the highest donation rate in the world), Italy, Belgium, France, Austria,
Finland, Norway, Denmark and Singapore. If they can show such compassion for
those waiting for the “Gift of Life,” why can’t we?
Such mandatory use of cadaveric organs
would eliminate the organ shortage with dramatic speed. Approximately
2,300,000 people die annually in the USA while 79,000 are waiting for a
lifesaving organ. Since 79,000 is 3.4 percent of 2,300,000, that means that
under a perfect scenario, 96.6 percent of the people who die would never
have their organs touched at all. Many die of causes that leave their organs
unsuitable for use; however, hundreds of thousands of deaths occur in which
organs could potentially be available under Presumed Consent. Once the
79,000 people waiting to receive the “Gift of Life” receive their organs,
the number of mandatory organ replacements would be miniscule compared to
the number of people who die each year.
The point is that even under Presumed
Consent, the chances of one’s organs being used would be extremely low.
Hopefully all major religions that now support organ donation will join in
this cause to make it mandatory.
Are there any steps we can take to help with donor awareness?
Hopefully every person who reads this is an organ donor and realizes
that they can save eight lives and enhance the lives of fifty others
with tissue donation someday by giving the "Gift of Life": two kidneys,
two lungs, the liver can be split and save two, the heart and either the
pancreas or small intestine (delicate junction, have to use take both
together and use one or other). If not, please call your Department of
Motor Vehicles or the OPO, OneLegacy, at 800-338-6112 and become an
organ donor today. 80,000 are waiting and 20,000 of those are children
under the age of 10. One dies every ninety minutes waiting so please,
give the "Gift."
Now lets talk about your work with NIH, and how research spending is
being used. Please enlighten us, most of us really do not understand just
what is going on.
Our organization, ProrateNIH www.ProrateNIH
has as its goal the proration of NIH research monies for disease
research according to the disease's mortality rate. If you have a disease
that is killing the most Americans, it shall get the most research funding.
If you have a disease that is killing the second largest number of
Americans, it shall get the second largest amount of research funds, and so
on.
As I mentioned earlier, the National Institute of Health (NIH) spends
$5,300 on each AIDS patient and only $22 on each HCV patient in research,
$64 on each diabetic, $126 on each patient with prostate disease in 2002
even though AIDS deaths are down to less than 14,000 while HCV equals that,
diabetes kills more Americans than AIDS and breast cancer, Alzheimer's kills
almost four times as many as AIDS in the USA. Heart disease kills over
700,000 compared to AIDS's 14,000 yet receives over 1/2 Billion less than
AIDS. Absurd!
I would appreciate everyone's support in obtaining equitable distribution
of our government's research funds toward the sixteen diseases (The 16)
killing more Americans than AIDS patients.
Could any of us join your foundation?
I would be honored if your viewers would come to our join link at
http://www.proratenih.com/signup.asp and add their voice to the
other patients will all 16 diseases that kill more Americans who are joining
from all over the country. With all these patients, we will have millions
marching on DC and we'll need porta-potties from the Lincoln Memorial to
Memphis. We WILL get ProrateNIH legislation enacted and we will effect
change!
You
could also help by coming to the Hepatitis Magazine
Annual Conference on Nov 8 & 9th and supporting me when I give my ProrateNIH
speech where I expose this outrageously small amount of money being spent on
HCV and other diseases. Read more here:
http://www.hepatitismag.com/conference/speaker2.html
Do you have a message for caregivers?
If you have HCV and are reading this, go get your caregiver and tell
her/him to read this paragraph, please. You caregivers are out Angels.
Without you we are sunk. We need your constant reassurance that "we'll get
you through this. This too shall pass and the bumps in the road will
be gone." When I was going into and coming out of my coma, Kress was there
saying just that, "We'll get you through this." I had hope, not despair.
We need your hugs and your understanding that we simply
cannot do the things we used to do, our livers are not producing the
sugars we need for energy, we need naps, ache, have mental lapses and
sometimes we get cranky. That is normal. Please do not take it
personally, we are not ourselves and in time, with treatment or a
transplant, we will be better. We love you for your help, your patience, for
doing the things we cannot do when ill. We LOOK OK. We are not, we feel like
hell most of the time so thank you for understanding and thank you for this
(((HUG))) from you that we need so badly.
On the other hand, if you are the person with HCV, read this: Because you
are sick, you will have a tendency to be "snappish," and less tolerate of
those around you. You MUST overcome those moments of temper and aggravation.
Because I asked your caregiver to be understanding of you crankiness does
NOT give you carte blanche to be mean. AND!!! If you act like a jerk, you
will know it as you walk away: "I shouldn't have said that," you will
think to yourself. GO BACK. GIVE IT UP. SAY, "I'm sorry, honey" or "I'm
sorry, son or my lovely daughter, I shouldn't have said that. If you do
that, your caregiver will say, "I know, you're not feeling well" and give
you a hug. If you don't, you may get a negative reaction from a caregiver
who forgot you are not yourself and you'll be sleeping in the garage! Okay,
that part is an exaggeration, but the rest is true.
With all you have experienced from suffering with HCV and your other
illnesses, what have you learned to be the most profound lesson in life? Is
there one?
It's hard to summarize like that, but I guess here are a few: you must
have a positive attitude (the Grateful Journal and thank God for every day
of life); what goes around, comes around--be mean, you'll get mean; be down,
you'll get same; try to stay upbeat, those around you will uplift you;
compliment those with you by telling them how much you love them and
appreciate their help, their work in your absence and their understanding
that you are sick; if you are not getting what you need from you doctor, go
to a support group and get a new MD to go to; in that support group, VENT.
Do not vent at home. You are in charge of your care and your attitude in
life.
In closing, we would all like to thank you for your time and devotion,
not only to us, but also for all those fortunate people who have been helped
without even your knowledge. There are many of them Dr. Darling, children,
parents, a spouse whom all might remain strangers to you. I wonder if you
ever thought your name would take on a new meaning in life. You are not only
a darling man, you are a man with a unbelievable compassion for their fellow
man. A characteristic not often found these days. We feel honored to be a
small part of your long journey, thank you for sharing it with us.
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