In Memory of
Family and Friends
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A LETTER FROM HEAVEN I felt your soft touch and heard
your mournful cry. It happened so quickly, in the
blink of an eye. I yearned so to hold you and say,
"It's okay", Though I'll miss you intensely,
as I know you'll miss me, Yet I'll be with you always, only
a faint breath away.
Suzanne Mace (Kuhn)
A Cherished Daughter , Remembered Sister , Loving Aunt, and Devoted Friend We said goodbye to Sue (Smace) on March 2nd, 2004 Her mother Laura was with her when she passed and told us she slept peacefully. The members of Janis and Friends were not ready to let another friend slip away. This loss was too quick, we have not yet been able to come to the realization that she is gone. This memorial has taken us far to long to share with you. To put down in words how we felt about Smace is a task to painful to achieve. If she was here now, she would tell us to get on with it. In fact she would say " For God Sakes will you just do it " She was like that, very matter of fact . She said what she thought, and didn't worry about the ramifications until they landed on her lap. She dealt with HCV much the same way. This is what gave those she supported the strength to endure. I also know this is what helped her fight through the pain and fear of her own struggle with HCV. Smace had no idea how fast her disease would progress. Maybe now looking back that was a blessing. Her biggest concern was never for herself, it was for her Mother. The fear of what her disease was doing to her Mother was always more then Smace could handle. She felt her Mother should never see her in pain, nor should she carry the burden of what was to come. Sue shared a bond with Laura that few daughters are blessed with. It was a love and friendship that melted away any pain or fear they both might of shared. Both of them often used humor get through their ordeal. Laughing with Sue was done on all occasions. After the funeral some of us went to Laura's home. She played a video of her and Sue singing " Don't worry be happy" What a pair they were, that day in the living room we celebrated Sue. But now, months later it seems more painful. We are left here with our memories. Her friends feel lost, still in shock and keep thinking this must just be a dream. It is difficult to even bring any kind of understanding to the friendship and support she gave to us. As one friend sits by the phone early in the morning, she still waits for Sues call. Another friend picks up the phone to hear her laugh. While another drives by her home, thinking she must still be there. It was to quick, to soon, to much for all of us to comprehend. One moment she was with us, and the next she was gone. We miss her more with each passing day. We will never say goodbye, we will only say until we laugh again.
Some Messages from Friends
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I
haven't been to this forum for a long time. But I felt a need to say a few
things about Sue.
Please visit our message boards for more thoughts and memories : 14067.1
Sheila Kramer (Deerfi
Ed & Pat Davis (Springerville, AZ )
Karen Armstrong (Turtle Lake, WI )
Tim De Vargas (Espanola, NM )
Debra Carlton (Traverse City, MI )
Sandy Stevens (Merrick, NY )
Linda Albrecht (Pittsburgh, PA )
Bill Bailey (Beaumont, TX )
Terenti Laura (Tempe, AZ )
Tina Banwart
Gloria Ellefsen (Lawrenceville, GA )
Bette Joyce (Brooklyn, NY )
Christine Y. (Jefferson, NJ )
Karen Kelso (Corrales, NM )
Im Kindly (Orange, TX )
Matt Galich (Steubenville, OH )
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Cookie Davis
December 29,2000
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This was written by our dear friend Janis HOW I PRAY YOU WERE
STILL HERE. I MISS YOU AND LOVE YOU SO MUCH. THAT WAS THE TRUTH, COOKIE LOVED THE LORD SO MUCH THAT HIS LOVE JUST GLOWED THROUGH HER AND IN EVERY WORD SHE SPOKE. SHE WANTED EACH PERSON THAT CAME ACROSS HER PATH TO KNOW THE LORD AND FEEL HIS PEACE AND FREEDOM AND LOVE. THANK YOU TO ALL OF MY
FRIENDS HERE THAT HAVE BEEN SO MUCH SUPPORT TO ME AND EACH OTHER. I THANK GOD FOR COOKIE,
FOR HER LEGACY, FOR HER MEMORY, AND FOR HER LOVE. |
NOVA ( Woman )
January 10, 2002
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Nova and I were married November 16, 1997. During the summer of 1998 she began to show symptoms. She told me she lacked energy. (This is a woman who rocked running a temp employment agency north of Boston.) We noted the swelling in her feet.
Nova went to a woman doctor who specialized in women’s problems. This was in Madison, Wisconsin, a place I thought progressive. They did all kinds of test (except for Hep C) and found nothing specific. So her problems were generalized as female hormonal.
In April of 2000, we moved to Live Oak (some say Live Joke), Florida. Nova had purchased land here before I met her. She had a 14x70-renovated mobile home on 5 acres. Members of her family owned parcels all around us. Everyone refers to it as “the field”.
When we arrived after driving from Wisconsin, Nov’s feet were horrible swollen. She went to the local witch doctor and they found nothing. Nova was tough, she didn’t complain. Then the swelling started causing horrible pain on her ankles. I couldn’t lay a sheet over her feet, they hurt so much.
Meanwhile we be drinking and parting like fish. Whoopee, Nova’s back.
Finally we found a clinic and a nurse practioner, Mary Feraudo, (may God bless her for the love and care she gave to Nova for over a year.) suggest we be tested for Hep C. Me cuz I was in the service in the 60s and Nova cuz of her symptoms. The first test showed Nova had the antibodies that fight Hep C in her; but, that isn’t conclusive. This was in September of 2000. We went to a facility to have further tests done. That was in October.
At the end of January, we had heard nothing and Nov’s feet were awful, so we called. We went in and were told she tested positive for Hep C and we both saw on her file: “Not need to notify”. They had had theses results for a couple months and didn’t bother to tell us.
This doctor was a prick. Hey you have Hep C. Oh by the way, we need the room so would yall leave. WAIT a moment what do we do with this HepC thing? He wrote the name of a doctor on a paper towel and gave that to us as we left. Man that was cold. Neither of us had a clue what Hep C was.
We went to the doctor he wrote down, she was horrible. When she left the examining room, Nova thought she was going to get some literature about Hep C. Instead her nurse came and said, “you are through here”.
Nova was good on the internet. (Don’t we all know) She found a doctor in Gainesville at the University of Florida. His office wanted to give her an appointment in a couple months. Nova and I put together a fax describing how poorly she was treated by the above, and his office called and gave us an immediate appointment. Dr. David Nelson, gastroenterologists, is a prince among men. Nova and I went to him, OMG, his assistant treated us nicely. What a switch. Then we met him. There is no kinder or more compassionate doctor on earth. He apologized for what’s happened to his profession. Our strategy was to wait for the release of the new TX.
Nova didn’t know how to wait. That is why she found the HepC forums. I bought her a laptop. At first she would be on the puter up to 12 hours a day. Then she found you all on Delphi. That brought peace to her. Then she, doing a wife thang, got me involved.
We waited. Then he didn’t like how Nova was declining and was set to start the old tx, BUT the FDA just released the Pegasys. Nova was set to go. She was too anemic to take the Ribaviron, so I just gave her a shot once a week. She didn’t have bad sides right after the shot. But, the treatment tore her down gradually. In September they took her off treatment. They scheduled a meeting with the transplant team for January 6th. Nova never made, she died January 10th.
Nova was a very vital person. She loved riding our lawn tractor. Every time she cut the lawn, she went into the rough to make our yard bigger. She’d go out with a portable CD player on and Rock.
Diuretics were controlling the swelling in her feet, sort of. Her growing symptom was shortness of breath. I have asthma, I would notice that she was even shorter of breath than me. That was new. She was prescribed an electric wheel chair. It was kind of a joke, she’ll never need this. But then she did need it. Not for the house, but to go see her family. She couldn’t breathe. She became winded taking the clothes from the washer to the dryer.
In October during my birthday, we went to Orlando to meet her sister. Nova so wanted Graham to go to Disney World. We all went. Nova’s breathing was so bad we got a wheel chair. I pushed her all around Disney World. Man it was great, we got into all the rides before anyone else. The next day Saturday was my birthday. We spent it alone together. Went to an all you can eat lobster place and pigged out. That was October.
November, we went to Nova’s sister’s for Thanksgiving, Nova could barely move. Christmas, her dad and I made up and we had Christmas Eve at her parents. I had to dress Nova that night. She couldn’t breathe. A cold was going around and it hit her hard.
Through her father, I had a new job and started Dec 26. Nova was so sick; her mother was at our place. I called Nova and told her to call our primary care giver. He wanted her to come down to Gainesville. She did. He saw her and put her in the hospital. I came down that night. She was still in the ER.
The next day I saw Nova. She was scared. Bless her heart. She told me she was afraid to sleep cuz she may never wake up. They moved her from the “liver” floor to the “pulmonary” floor. I saw her on a Thursday, she was talking about coming home Saturday. Friday she went into respiratory failure and they moved her to an ICU. She was on a respirator; they had to sedate her for her to tolerate the tube down her throat. I never saw her conscious again.
Her kidneys started to fail. They asked me if they could put her on dialyses. That was on Friday. The following Tuesday they asked if they could meet with me. I invited the whole family. Nova had no hope, they wanted to take her off life support. I knew this was coming. One of her brothers didn’t agree with the Doctors, he wanted to come down from N. H. to question them before we let her go.
He arrived Thursday. I was at Nov’s bedside, she was comatose, no longer sedated. This doctor I knew and liked was standing behind me, waiting. I knew what he was waiting for. He was waiting for me to give the OK to let Nova to die. God that was hard. They wanted us to leave as the took the life support stuff off of her. I left, as they asked, Nova went so quickly, I wasn’t there when she died. I saw her and held her afterwards.
People ask. Its not just having her die. It was so hard to watch her die over the last six months. She had a dog she adored. Taco. I loved him too. He got killed by her brother’s dog. One of the hardest moments of my life was watching Nova in her electric wheel chair driving to our dead Taco. Man, that took all the wind our of her sails.
I love her. May God Bless and keep her for me.
Tom
Here is another tribute to our friend nova http://www.angelfire.com/tn2/pages/woman.html.
Mike Todd (Spareparts) November 23, 2001
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Spareparts was a gentle man, quite and at times reserved. I first met him at Hepatitis C chat . I was new to Hep C, and he welcomed me with open arms. He was always so full of laughter, and made us all smile off and on through the years. He was a devoted husband , father, and grandfather. I feel so honored to of known him, he was a caring friend to all. Cookie loved Spare, as did Janis. His death was such a shock to many of us, we will always remember him with kindness and love. Rest well our dear friend , until we meet again. |
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Lisa Ward March 2 1965- December 17. 2003
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We knew our dear friend Lisa online as Salanka. She just loved that name, she said it was an old Indian name thus the reason she selected it. With her dark hair and beautiful face the name suited Lisa just perfectly. Lisa was a Mother , Daughter, Sister, Aunt and Friend. She was engaged to be married, and was looking forward to sharing her life with Terry. We stood in awe of her strength, faith and kindness. She never gave up hope, never did she think she might not make it. She was ready for whatever God had in store for her. We all have our own memories of Lisa. She had so many friends and shared special friendships with each of us. From making scrapbooks, to sharing time with her on the phone or in chat. Those of us lucky enough to call her our friend will find our lives very empty. The void we feel will be with us for a lifetime. Here is how I remember Lisa :
Lisa I will miss Your little southern voice, So strong, but at times so weak, Your giggle, and those silly jokes, The joy in your voice of when you spoke of Terry Being so in love Like a school girl awwww so very sweet Your strong love of family Your strong embrace of life How you loved the little things Meeting you with all your innocents How we laughed late at night You sneaking phone calls under the sheets While the nurses roamed the halls The time you fell out of bed Because your sis made you laugh till you cried Your love of GOD Of People, and all mankind All the parents and children you helped You did so much in such a short time I find no peace right now I know it will never come You suffered so long and so hard For it to come to this When you were in such pain You always said I know he has a reason Your faith was so profound No matter what you felt How sick you were You were always so full of hope I miss you my little southern bell You silly girl, with so much charm I could of done so much more I was not as brave as I should of been I held on as long as I could Thinking this would not happen I thought I could hide from you As if I could stop time And then this day would not come But no matter what we do There is just no holding on Maybe you were right There was reason for all of this But right now I can't seem to find it I will try to do better Sal To look at life as you always did I loved you Sal I love you now Never enough never the best My heart broken Yet so full for knowing you My sweet little gal I know how much you loved GOD I hope this God will keep you warm And your pain will be no more Sleep Well my little friend With all your southern charm
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Lisa gave hours of support to those of us with HCV, online and in the media. She also was a co-founder of an organization which helped locate missing children. http://www.childsearch.org/seelisa.html Memories of those who knew Lisa 12349.1
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